Monday, May 10, 2010

Channeling My Inner Rap Star

I was listening to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind."  Good song.  But it also makes me uncomfortable and squirmy, though I didn't immediately know why. Alicia Keys is amazing, singing the chorus - I've always loved her.  Then there's the other part of the song.  Jay-Z sings about how he's the greatest thing ever, sells more Yankee caps than a Yankee can, gets floor seats for any basketball game, and on and on.  I don't know about you guys, but I learned that bragging and having a big ego was a bad thing.  And when I hear it from someone else, I don't know what to do with that.  I'm uncomfortable  I mean, what a jerk!  He's not supposed to say those things, or even think them!  What right does that person have to think they're so great?  (OK, so like, a billion dollars and a huge career, but whatever.)

I can barely take a compliment - I have to fight with myself to squeak out a simple "thank you" instead of arguing with the person about how actually, I really suck.  I can't even give MYSELF a compliment in secret.  If I think to myself that I've done something really, really well, I feel insanely guilty because even though I didn't say it, I thought it - and that makes me vain and egotistical. 

So where is the happy medium between being a total wimp and a cocky jerk?  Beyonce Knowles actually has a pretty awesome solution to this situation.  According to those celebrity magazines I no longer read she has an alternate stage personality she uses when she performs or does interviews or whatever.  She felt too uncomfortable wearing that attitude just as herself, so she created "Sasha Fierce", another version of herself who takes the reins in those situations.  That makes sense to me. Though I don't think I could pull off what she can, either as herself or as Sasha Fierce.  Yow.  I am truly a white girl with no rhythm. 

However it works out, what I do know is that I need a little more of that Jay-Z attitude.  Madonna's got it pretty well down too.  Maybe its time to play with my own alternate personality.  The question of the day is, what's she called?  The good names are all taken....

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