Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Who's Driving This Thing?

I just finished reading a profound and really good book called “Drinking: A Love Story”. It’s writer Caroline Knapp’s memoir about her relationship with drinking. Its heavy and intense, but really good.

At the end of the book she talks about her experience with sobriety and in doing so, she touches on several amazing points. One of the most poignant for me was how she talked about growing up. She used to think that growing up was something that would just happen to her one day. She just had to wait for it and eventually one day it would be bestowed upon her – she’d be a grown up. But she learned that it doesn’t work that way. That you have to actively make the choice to grow up. Less magical, but more realistic indeed.

I often have said that I don’t feel grown up, and when I read that I thought “oh, jeez. You mean it doesn’t just happen TO me?” It’s like I thought eventually if I sat here long enough a King would ride up, tap a sword on my shoulder and knight me. Viola! You are now an adult! It didn’t really occur to me that growing up really is a choice, something you can do or not do. But it won’t happen if you just sit there.

Wow. Maybe it’s just me, but that kind of blew me away.

So I can choose and manage how I grow up. The how, when, and the way I want to do it. I don’t have to sit around and wait for it. And that is kind of cool.

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