So since my last post, I’ve chilled out a bit. Things were a little frantic there – I tend to take on a lot and put a lot of expectations on myself. And sometimes I get so involved in the goals and expectations that I forget to cut myself some slack.
I’ve always wanted to be one of those energetic, ambitious, outgoing, super motivated people. I’ve tried to play that part. But you know what? I’m just not. I like doing things, but I really like my quiet time. I like spending evenings watching movies and relaxing. I like walking – not running. More than going to huge concerts and festivals, I like spending time hanging out with a glass of wine, a fire in the backyard, and a few close friends. I need things to be slower than they are – slower than I let them be.
I realized all this last week, and looking at my relatively nutty schedule – I made the call that I’m taking a break from my 3x a week, 5:30am Crossfit class. And when I start back with Crossfit, it’s not going to be at that hour. I know exercise can help ease stress, but in this case, rushing to get to bed, then getting up at 5am and literally not stopping until 8pm that night – it’s worn me out. I can’t do it anymore, at least right now. And also, while I want to be healthy it isn’t my career or job to be totally focused on food and diet. I get why our coaches are so honed in – this is their passion, it’s what they do! But I don’t want to feel bad for spending an awesome evening out with friends over a pitcher of microbrews because there’s too many carbs in beer. I don’t want to do that every night, but I don’t want my overjudgemental self encouraged to deprive myself and beat myself up. While Crossfit certainly doesn’t encourage me to do this – I’ve been judging myself more harshly next to those ripped, dedicated people.
All that said, I do love Crossfit and I will go back. But I’m going back on my terms, for my reasons, and not for anyone elses. But for now, I’m going to kick back and take it a little easy. Give me a call if you want to hang!